Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Movie Review: Piranha 3D (by Dave Machado)

The one thought going through my mind as I watched Piranha 3D was that I could not remember the last time I had this much fun while watching a movie.  I even felt a little guilty while watching it after I realized that that it may actually be my favorite movie of 2010.  After years of "insta-cult" movies like Snakes on a Plane and Grindhouse where the "cult" aspect of the movie was forced down our throats before we even saw a single frame, Piranha 3D was able to sneak by without much hype and build-up.  I'm not sure if that made for a more positive experience, but I can honestly say that Piranha 3D is the movie I have been waiting years to see.  Please don't mistake my love of this film as me saying it is the "best" movie of the year.  It's simply the most fun, gory, naked, and disgusting movie I've seen in years.

I typically watch a lot of horror movies and consider myself a fan of gore.  I, unlike some people, can differentiate the horror on the screen from real life and I simply get a kick out of seeing things I couldn't see in real life.  I know that woman didn't really get her face chopped off.  I'm simply fascinated at the effects and enjoy seeing how far movies are allowed to go within their budget to reflect "reality" in the fatal blows and wounds of the victims.  Having said that, even I was taken aback at what they were able to pull off in this movie.  I can't remember the last studio released, R-rated movie that had this much gore.  Actually, I can't remember any recent horror movie showing this much blood and guts.  The things that they were able to get away with in this movie astounded me and also left me with a dumb smile on my face the entire time.  This movie is like the crazy sick wet dream of a drugged up 15 year old who is obsessed with horror movies and boobs, and I mean that in the best possible way.

I will be the first to admit that this movie is not for everyone.  In fact, I would say that this movie is not for most people.  But for the people who like these kinds of movies, they are in for a giant treat. I don't want to spoil any of the gags in the movie since that would take away from the pure joy of experiencing it first hand like I did.  Though I will say though that Jerry O'Connell walks away as the MVP in this movie.  Now typically I would hate any movie on principle of it making me type that sentence but it's true.  Almost every line out of his mouth as a sleazy "Joe Francis" type is pure gold.  There are also some great cameos sprinkled throughout the movie that work perfectly.  As for 3D gags, the movie proved to me that 3D isn't always terrible.  I enjoy 3D when it's used as a gimmick and not some lame "world building" trick.  Just throw body parts and scary fish at the screen and I'm happy to throw down a few extra dollars.  

I hope Piranha 3D finds an audience.  I'm sure we have an unrated Director's Cut coming out way in time for Christmas (someone get me Criterion on the phone...) that will only be more over the top.  But until then, if you want a movie that actually lives up to what it promises, then Piranha 3D is your best bet.  I would love it if in a few years we can look back at the release of this movie and see that it's when movies stopped worrying about becoming a cult movie before the script is even finished and instead focuses on just making the coolest possible horror movie out there.  Those are the movies that truly end up as cult favorites.  But at the very least, where else can you see a detached penis floating in the water other than Piranha 3D?*

You're Welcome,

*Eat, Pray, Love

1 comment:

  1. You asked us to comment. You really liked this. Almost enough to get me to see it. :)