DVD Review: Buried (by Dave Machado)

Buried is film about an American truck driver named Paul Conroy (Ryan Reynolds) who gets sent over to Iraq as an employer of a corporation helping to rebuild the damage that has been done since the war began. Paul is working a job of transporting kitchen supplies across a region of Baghdad when his convoy is attacked by insurgents. He gets knocked out during the attack and wakes up to find himself trapped in a coffin which he can only believe to be buried deep in the ground. Surprisingly, all of this setup is found out by the audience through expository dialog as every scene takes place with Paul already in the coffin. It is hard to believe that despite having no prologue, epilogue, or flashbacks during the course of the movie, Buried actually works despite the static location and single starring character. 

The thing I was most struck by after viewing Buried was that it is not based on a preexisting short story but an original screenplay (by Chris Sparling). Though I enjoyed the movie quite a bit, I found myself thinking how much better the story would be if it were in the medium of a tightly worded short story. Not to say that this was a failed experiment, I just felt the Director (Rodrigo Cortes) had to resort to countless instances of slowly panning away from Paul's face to show the darkness he is engulfed within. I'll admit that it was an powerful shot the first time, but as he kept going back to it, I couldn't help but feel this was being done to simply pad the running time of a story that can not support a feature length (Buried ends up clocking in at a fairly lean 95 minutes).

Of course the movie is not just Ryan Reynolds in a coffin screaming to himself for an hour and a half. Luckily, we find out early on that he has access to a cell phone with ever dwindling power and shoddy reception. The movie then becomes a series of intense phone calls as he tries to figure out who can actually get him out of this situation. Reynolds had one important task in this movie and that was to make us care about Paul Conroy getting out of this coffin. Without that, there really isn't a movie to enjoy. Fortunately,  I think he succeeded on this level as by the end, I found myself actually invested in his outcome, which typically does not happen to me when watching horror/thriller movies.

There are lots of interesting twists in Buried to keep the story moving along to the grand finale. I found myself early on having to turn off the part of my brain that always tries to piece together a movie's final twist way before it happens. I realized this is a movie that doesn't have that many options as far as plausible endings go so it would be better to simply enjoy the ride. Having said that, I really loved the ending they did go with. It's a great moment that reminded me of the best Twilight Zone episodes where even though it's fairly easy to see how it's all going to end, you still feel like you got punched in the stomach when the ending actually happens. Too many modern B-movies are based on a hook that fails to deliver (Snakes on a Plane, Machete, Precious), so it's always good to see one actually stick the landing.

Overall, I'd categorize Buried as a cool experiment that while it doesn't work out perfectly, is something worth seeing. Aside from a few lackluster camera/editing choices (Buried actually includes the cliché scene of the main character replaying key points of other character's dialog from the movie), it really holds up as a smart thriller. Kudos also goes to whoever created the fun title sequence which is set to a great "Bernard Herrmann-like" score, making you feel like you are about to watch an old Hitchcock thriller. It really helped set the tone and made it feel more like an event movie instead of the low budget thriller it really is. I definitely recommend Buried and look forward to hearing more people's reactions to this interesting, yet potentially polarizing, flick.

You're Welcome,

Dave

Best of 2010: Top 10 TV Shows (by Dave Machado)

There was a lot of great TV in 2010. So much so that I didn't really get a chance to watch everything that was being offered. So I'd like to preface this list by saying these were my favorite ten shows of the year, and I am in no way saying they are the ten best on TV. You'll find obvious omissions (Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Boardwalk Empire) not because I didn't like the shows, but because I either still have most of the season on my DVR (Boardwalk) or I'm still behind on previous seasons as I slowly go through the DVDs (Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Modern Family). Having said that, I still believe the following 11 shows (I felt the need to include an honorable mention) provided some great entertainment throughout 2010.

Honorable Mention: The Walking Dead
I really wanted this show to end up in my top 10 of the year but it simply had far too many problems with bad dialog. The show debuted with a lot of promise, as it was directed by Frank Darabont. But as the short series went on (6 episodes), it started to show less and less promise. I'll admit the show picked up again during the last episode but that execitement quickly died when I realized I now had to wait 10 months for Season 2 to begin. Let's hope they use that time wisely and come back a much stronger show. I believe in the end, Season 1 will be considered just a small tease to what the show would really become.

10) Eastbound and Down
Kenny Powers is such a great television character. While Season 2 may have had slightly less laugh out loud moments than Season 1, I was still in love with every episode. It was good to see Kenny in a new element (Mexico) but I am really looking forward to the third and final season where we can see him back in his Season 1 territory.

09) 30 Rock
30 Rock suffered from a huge dip in quality last season. Thankfully this seems to have only been a temporary problem as this year has produced some of the funniest 30 Rock episodes since Season 2. My biggest complaint from last year was that the characters were becoming too one-note. While I think the show still suffers from that problem from time the time (mainly Jenna and Kenneth), they've done a better job of opening each character to more stories.

08) Parks and Recreation
Parks and Recreation wins the award for biggest improvement for a show between Season 1 and Season 2. It was sad to see this amazing show so low on the list but the only reason is that it had so little shows on the air in 2010. Last airing in August, Parks and Recreation was an unfortunate victim of network programming issues as it was shelved for midseason to make way for the terrible new show Outsourced. I'm at least thankful for the small amount of episodes I did get to see this year as each one contained some of the best comedy on TV this year. Thankfully, Parks and Recreation is coming back Jan. 20. I really need some more Ron Swanson in my life.

07) The Soup
I debated on whether or not to include this on the list as it's not a sitcom or a drama but there is no denying that The Soup really is one of the best shows on TV. Thanks in large part to Joel McHale (making his first of two appearances on this list), The Soup is consistently one of the funniest 30 minutes on television, thanks in large part to the huge amount of crap that is currently being shown on TV. I make it a point to stay away from any show on VHI, MTV, or anything "reality" based, but I still love nothing more than seeing these insanely unimportant humans make fools of themselves in bite sized clips only to then be further beaten down by a cruel joke about their lack of purpose on earth.

06) Daily Show/Colbert Report
Like The Soup, this may not be a traditional "show" but it's one of the best things going for television right now. I consider these shows two sides of the same coin so it's fair for them to split #6. They both perfectly compromise each other by providing different (but equally important) takes on what's currently going on in the world. The Daily Show provides more of the cynical "Are you kidding me" anger towards the broken system of current politics while The Colbert Report dishes out amazing mockery of the blow hard types currently trying to pass off opinion as facts. While I consider The Daily Show to be the better important show, The Colbert Report is the necessary dessert of absurd humor that's needed after such a filling meal.

05) It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Similar to 30 Rock, It's Always Sunny has had quite the resurgence in quality this season as opposed to the previous few years. I would say that It's Always Sunny actually went one step further than 30 Rock this year though and actually had their best season to date. I've already talked about my love of the Blackface Debate from the Lethal Weapon 5 episode, but almost every episode had at least one scene that was almost just as funny (Dennis' idea of luring women on a boat, Charlie and Dennis getting trashed at the fundraising event in Atlantic City, Mac searching for his "God Damned Bible", etc...). Part of me wishes this was the final season because it would have been a great way to go out (especially considering how many past characters they brought back for the season finale). The writers and cast have their work cut out for them this year and I look forward to see what they try out.

04) Supernatural
Supernatural is the show that I love but have no one to share that love with since it seems nobody else I know watches it as much as me. While I admit the beginning of the latest season was a bit rocky due to the planned "5 year story" now being stretched beyond it's original ending point, I'm glad to see that at the mid-point of the season, I am now fully on board to see where they take the show. Last year's final push to the finale was one of the best I had seen in a show in a while. It's a shame the real ending was ruined slightly by many forced twists in order to allow the show to continue, but it doesn't take away from the fact that they did a very good job of ending a planned story without too much compromise. It's great to see a show that is still able to mix-up "Monster of the Week" episodes with dense myth building ones and never really miss a beat. Now if only they could ease on the episode ending "heart to heart" talks that I'm pretty sure use the same conversation week to week.

03) Louie
Louie was the best new show of 2010. It's amazing this show exists and that Louis C.K. was able to take a chance to make his own show in his own voice and not screw up at any point. Each episode was like a mad genius mix of stand-up comedy and absurd sketches that combined to form a perfect half hour of TV. Every aspect from this show came from Louis C.K.'s mind and it really shows in the end product. I'm extremely happy the show is getting a second season and hope this time it's audience continues to grow as more people discover just how great it really is.

02) LOST
It was hard to put this show at #2 because it really is my favorite show of all time. But considering it was only on the air for 1/2 of 2010 (added to the fact that I still feel let down by the final season) I think this is where LOST belongs. This season was a mix of highs and lows as the final mysteries started to unveil themselves. But after spending a whole season trying to figure out the mystery of the "sideways universe" only to discover it was all some "afterlife" holding pen caused much anger, especially the night of the finale. I've since come to terms with the finale and find it quite touching, though there are still lots of issues I have with the show. The most of which would be the total waste of time that was the Temple arc. For a show with so many questions as LOST to throw in a new location, only to never have any of the questions raised there really pay off, has left a sour taste in my mouth when looking back on the last season as a whole. I'm sure as years pass and I revisit LOST I'll find myself enjoying it much more the second time around (there were lots of great episodes, such as Happily Ever After, the final Desmond-centric episode).

01) Community

Community is the best comedy on television right now. Mostly everything this show does is perfect and it's the best mix of character vs. pop culture related jokes. It can weave its structure into pretty much any genre (post-apocalyptic, mob family, claymation, zombies, etc...) and never at the cost of moving the story forward. Community has formed a real tight ensemble so any of the main characters can bounce off each other, giving the show a large number of combinations to explore. I know a show is good when I'm left saying "Well that was their best episode ever" after roughly 2/3 of all episodes in 2010. It's exciting to have a show like Community on TV and I just hope it is able to stick around for many more to come. While I find it hard to believe that they will ever top the perfection that was the paintball episode ("Modern Warfare"), it doesn't take away from the fact that most episodes since have only been slightly less amazing.

You're Welcome,

Dave

Best of 2010: Top 15 Movies (by Dave Machado)

2010 was a good year for movies. All total, I was able to see 58 movies from 2010 (and I only really hated two of them).  Though there are a few I never got around to seeing, (mainly The King's Speech and 127 Hours) I feel like I was able to see mostly everything else that had a chance of ranking high. I've already covered films #58-16 in a previous post so without further rambling, here are my top 15 movies for 2010.

15) Winter's Bone
This movie reminded me of Brick in that it took an already great story and dropped it into the fantastic universe of Film Noir. I may have a hard time praising Jennifer Lawrence for her amazing role because I've yet to see her in anything else, but I thought her character was one of the best in all of 2010. She does a great job, especially considering she is surrounded by fantastic character actors like Garret Dillahunt and John Hawkes.

14) Splice
I went into Splice not expecting much and ended up being blown away by what I saw. It was great to see more original sci-fi this year (along with Inception) that was able to stand on it's own away from the sequels and remakes. I had a few problems regarding the last act of the movie delving too much into straight up horror but overall it's a very fun flick that should have a larger audience. It finally teaches the long needed lesson that humans should not have sex with genetically created hybrids.

13) Despicable Me
One thing 2010 will always be remembered for is my obsession with the Minions. In fact, without them in this movie, I doubt it would even crack the Top 20 (thus showing just how much I loved them). Though I should give some credit to Despicable Me for making me laugh more than any other animated movie I saw this year. I was brought to the movie without having any desire to see it and ended up enjoying it more than Toy Story 3.

12) MacGruber
The funniest movie of 2010. Like most of America I stayed away from this in the theaters and that was a stupid mistake. It may not bat 1.000 with jokes but it comes pretty close. It's wonderfully absurd and very R-Rated, combining raunchy humor with fairly graphic violence. MacGruber also contains the funniest "sex scene" joke I have ever seen. Please see this movie.

11) The Ghost Writer
The thing I loved most about The Ghost Writer was how perfectly it was paced. Every scene seemed to build on top of the previous one as the story became increasingly more engaging. This should be no surprise considering it comes from Roman Polanski (One of the best example of loving the work but not the man behind it). A great political thriller that actually managed to surprise me at the end. I would also like to point out that a movie featuring Jim Belushi is my 11th favorite movie of 2010. I'm a little upset about that.

10) Kick-Ass
If you had asked me a month ago where Kick-Ass would fall in my list for 2010, I would have said #3. Then I made the mistake of re-watching the movie where I sadly found out that it does not hold up to a second viewing. Clearly I still love the movie but watching it a second time really brought out the flaws (mainly anything to do with Dave's love life). I think the combination of seeing it in a packed theater and not knowing what to expect made the movie seem a lot better. The only thing that didn't get worse was anything featuring Hit-Girl and/or Big Daddy. It's those scenes that make this #10 for the year.

09) Black Swan
Darren Aronofsky is amazing. I've really loved his previous 3 movies (I still need to see Pi) and think Black Swan is a new high point in his career. He should also be thanked for directing Natalie Portman in her best role yet.  I really think she deserves all the hype that is being generated for her right now and it will be good to see her win some awards. I'm still not sure what was real and what was her imagination but it doesn't matter because the movie itself tells such a great story. Bonus points are rewarded for the graphic scenes of body horror that caused me to both cringe in my seat and smile at the same time.

08) The American
I'm surprised how little love The American got as 2010 came to an end. I understand some people might have expected Jason Bourne: The Senior Years but you can't deny that The American is a fantastically made character study of an aging hitman. I'll admit a few scenes could have used a bit more subtlety but it's forgivable considering how smart and gorgeous most of the movie is. I don't want to call people who didn't like this movie "stupid," so I'll just stop here. But seriously, if you missed out on this movie, go see it now.

07) Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Pt. 1
I'm glad that I decided to finally watch the Harry Potter series last year because it allowed me to be able to see this one in the theaters. I've said many times before that I am not a Harry Potter Fanboy (never read the books and I've seen each movie once), but I easily consider The Deathly Hallows to be the best of the bunch. I don't buy the complaint that it was boring as I was fully engaged from start to finish and found the quieter moments to be quite touching. It made me laugh, it made me cry, and it made me wish it was July 2011 so I can see the finale.

06) True Grit
I wanted True Grit to be my favorite movie of the year. I spent months counting down to the release, awaiting the chance to see the best movie the Coen brothers ever made. Maybe it was that insane amount of hype that made me feel let down by the movie, but I really think it was my hope that the movie was going to be more gritty and not have as much comic relief that let me down the most. I'm not saying it made me hate the movie (seeing as how it ranks this high) but it just made me wish that the story was taken a bit more seriously. Having said that, the performances in this movie are outstanding and it's also one of the nicest looking movies that I saw this year. It has a lot of "Coen Brothers charm" (read that as both a positive and a slight negative), and I was happy that the ending felt a bit more fleshed out than their past few movies. I really think this movie will only get better with repeat viewings.

05) The Fighter
This is the surprise of the year to me. I expected to enjoy The Fighter but I never thought it would be my fifth favorite movie of the year. As with the remaining Top 5 movies in this list, I spent the better part of The Fighter actually saying "this is an amazing movie..." over and over in my head as it continued to amaze me. Yes, Christian Bale deserves an Oscar for this movie. Yes, David O. Russell and Amy Adams deserve Oscar nominations for this movie. Yes, whoever picked out Amy Adams outfits should get an honorary Oscar for this movie. But the real standouts of this movie are The Sisters. I've read them described as a dysfunctional Greek Chorus and that really sums it up better than I could. I saw this movie pretty late in the year but if I redid my Top 30 Pop Culture Moments of 2010 now, the fight scene on the front porch between the sisters and Amy Adams' character would easily crack the top 15.

04) The Social Network
Obviously a movie about Computer Programmers would end up as one of my favorites of 2010, but The Social Network is a lot more than a simple movie about computer geeks. From the opening scene at the bar, The Social Network came right out of the gate as one of the best written movies I've seen in quite some time. People can argue all they want about about how factual the movie is and whether or not it is sexist,  but I'm simply not interested in either of those arguments. Every role in this movie was perfectly cast and I applaud the use of groundbreaking technology (the creation of the Winklevoss twins) as a way to further the story and not simply wow a crowd (see: Avatar, Alice in Wonderland).

03) Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
Everything about Scott Pilgrim vs. The World works and it's a shame that it didn't get the attention it deserved this summer. Edgar Wright is now 3/3 as far as feature films go and at this point it's safe to say that he's my favorite director currently making movies. Unlike Kick-Ass, Scott Pilgrim actually seems to get better the more I watch it (which has already been 3 times). While it may seem a bit crowded at times due to the desire to only make one movie while keeping the number of evil ex-boyfriends ("evil exes!") to seven, it's also fairly unbelievable how well made the movie is considering how much is going on. People will be talking about the innovative way the movie was edited for years to come as it will become a blueprint for how to make this type of movie. Anyone who doesn't like this movie, can tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.

02) Piranha 3D
I had a real hard time deciding on the final ranking for my top 2 movies of the year. But as much as a I loved Piranha 3D when I saw it in theaters (best movie theater experience of my life), I still think it belongs at #2 on my list. I still can't believe this movie exists and I'm even more amazed that it got a release in theaters. Hatchet II gets pulled after 2 days in theaters because it was released Unrated due to not being able to get an R, yet Piranha 3D was allowed to skate by on a R despite being far more graphic than anything in Hatchet II. The genius of the MPAA at work! Regardless of that, Piranha 3D is simply my favorite over-the-top horror movie since Dead Alive. I felt guilty at first loving something with that much nudity and violence in it but that quickly faded into me accepting it as the greatness that it is. Let's see if Piranha 3DD (the actual title) can top it. I highly doubt it but it will be fun to see them try.

01) Inception
It almost felt lame picking this as my #1 movie of the year because I feel like the backlash for this movie has really hit a new high lately as people create their best of 2010 lists. But to be honest, it was my favorite movie of 2010 and what I consider the best science fiction film since Children of Men. I was blown away by the effects, engaged by the story, and entertained by all of the excellent performances (though special praise goes to Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Tom Hardy). Christopher Nolan took a giant chance with this movie and nailed it out of the park. Sure it's a bit heavy on expository dialog but I don't consider that as big of a fault as others do. I still go back and forth on my reading of the movie but I'm fairly settled on the belief that most of the movie is actually Cobb's dream. I believe his team is putting him under as a way to try and have him get over his wife's death after they see how much it is starting to affect his life and their line of work. Why do you think the first time we see Mal (Cobb's dead wife) is when Arthur asks Cobb "What is she doing here?" It was him planting that thought into his head as a way to start putting everything into motion. As for the ending, I don't think the top stopped or kept going. I think Cobb woke up.

You're Welcome,
Dave

Best of 2010: The Leftover Movies (by Dave Machado)

2010 was a good year for movies. All total, I was able to see 58 movies from 2010 (and I only really hated two of them).  Though there are a few I never got around to seeing, (mainly The King's Speech and 127 Hours) I feel like I was able to see mostly everything else that had a chance of ranking high. In order to make this easier to digest, I'm splitting it up by first listing the movies that did not make my top 15 (yes, I ranked all 58). I'll try to say a quick line about each movie and open it up to longer responses in the Top 15 post. So for now, enjoy the movies that didn't quite make my list of favorites for the year.

58) A Nightmare on Elm St. - Hate.
57) Sex and the City 2 - Hate 2.
56) Jonah Hex - A giant mess of a movie. 
55) Nightmares in Red, White, and Blue - History of American Horror that ended up being a cheap Cliff Notes version. Any horror fan would just be bored.
54) Wolfman - Like Jonah Hex, it suffered from so many people trying to improve the movie in the editing room that it ended up being too much of a mess.
53) I'm Still Here - It was a hoax, a boring hoax. Though Joaquin's performance is amazing, the movie is not.
52) Survival of the Dead - George A. Romero made a Western Zombie movie that didn't have enough "western" or "zombie" elements.
51) Iron Man 2 - Fell flat. I can hardly even remember this movie. Something about Super Soldiers, Mickey Rourke, and Scarlett Johansson in a tight black suit.
50) Cyrus - I've never hated characters more than the ones in this movie.
49) Machete - This is what happens when you spend too much time making a cult movie and less time making a good movie.
48) The Losers - Fun and forgettable PG-13 Action flick.
47) Salt - Slightly more fun yet just as forgettable PG-13 Action flick. So many twists!
46) The Other Guys - Surprised how low this is. Nothing about the story clicked. I need to see it again.
45) The Expendables - It was fun but was ruined by the use of cgi blood instead of the over the top practical gore of Rambo. 
44) Best Worst Movie - Fun Documentary about Troll 2 but I became too irritated by the stars after a while. Worth seeing if you are a Troll 2 "fan" though.
43) Hot Tub Time Machine - Funny but forgettable. Saved by having a great cast.
42) Waking Sleeping Beauty - Very good look at the great run Disney Animation had in the late-80s to early-90s. A bit dry but interesting.
41) Predators - Way better than the Alien vs. Predator movies but nothing special.
40) Catfish - Was it real or fake? As time goes on, I care less and less.
39) I Am Comic - Good Documentary on stand-up comedy. Nothing ground breaking but a good collection of interviews.
38) The Human Centipede (First Sequence) - Over-hyped Horror movie. Has some cool ideas but ends up being fairly generic. Not gross enough based on where it could have gone.
37) Frozen - First of two Adam Green movies from 2010 I was able to see. Great concept hindered by a slow beginning and uneven final act.
36) Batman: Under the Red Hood - I wasn't sure if I could include this but it was feature length and a pretty great animated Batman movie. If you liked The Dark Knight, check this out!
35) Devil - Trashy fun that caused me to roll my eyes yet not feel like I was wasting my time.
34) Date Night - Surprised me how funny this was. Lots of great supporting characters.
33) Exit Through the Gift Shop - Another possible hoax Documentary but this time it doesn't matter because the film is well made.
32) Joan Rivers: Piece of Work - Great Documentary that really made me respect Joan Rivers. Again, nothing earth shattering but a fine way to spend 90 minutes.
31) Get Him to the Greek - I enjoy Russel Brand and Jonah Hill together. Funny movie but by no means a classic. Big step down from Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
30) Greenberg - Ben Stiller's best movie. It's very much an "indie" movie but not at all what I expected.
29) Let Me In - I hated that it was made and how closely it stuck to the original, yet I can't deny that it was an extremely well made movie. If I never saw the original, this would be in my Top 10.
28) The Kids Are Alright - I wanted to like this more but the last act just made me angry with how dramatic it all became. Also, too much time is wasted on the friends of the two kids considering those stories go nowhere.
27) Never Let Me Go - This movie didn't hit me that hard when I first saw it but it's slowly crept up the list throughout the rest of the year as I've begun to appreciate the small scale of the movie. Art House Sci-Fi at it's best.
26) The Last Exorcism - I was ready to call the "found footage" gimmick dead until I saw this fun summer horror flick. Doesn't add much to the exorcism genre but is unique enough to stand on its own.
25) How To Train Your Dragon - I wish I saw this in 3D in a large theater. It holds up at home but consistently felt like something was missing.
24) Going the Distance - I was almost mad at how much I enjoyed this movie. Very funny R rated Romantic Comedy with hysterical supporting characters. One of the worst endings to a movie I have ever seen though.
23) Hatchet II - Extremely fun Unrated Horror movie. The kills were exactly how they should be in slasher movies: gory and over-the-top. Had a sense of humor that's missing in horror these days.
22) Daybreakers - Fantastic Vampire movie that made me realize there are still good vampire tales to tell that don't involve teenage drama.
21) Toy Story 3 - I thought this would end up being a Top 10 movie of the year. Just because it didn't wow me like the previous Pixar movies doesn't take away how good the movie actually is.
20) The Town - It was cheesy and a bit "retahded" but I was a huge fan of Affleck's little Boston crime movie. 
19) Shutter Island - Not the best Leonardo DiCaprio movie of the year but a great homage to B horror.
18) The Crazies - Everything A Nightmare on Elm St. remake did wrong, The Crazies did right. One of the few horror remakes that I believe surpasses the original.
17) The Tillman Story - The Documentary that made me the most angry. If you want to hate people, go see this movie.
16) Easy A - The best teen comedy since Mean Girls (only better).

You're Welcome,
Dave

The Terror Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Just a madman was stirring, quiet as a mouse.
The parents were hung in the chimney with care
In hopes the policemen wouldn't look there.
The children were gagged and tied to their beds,
while their short lives flashed through their heads.
With the parents all strangled and the kids in their trap,
The madman heard something, a quiet "tap, tap tap."
Then out on the lawn there arose such a chatter,
It was the neighbors, seeing what was the matter.
Away to the window, he flew with a flash,
He thought of just shooting, but knew that'd be rash.
They soon walked back home, across the new fallen snow
while the madman sighed quickly, for it was back to the show.
When, what to his wandering eyes should appear,
The flash of police sirens, drawing quite near.
If only the policemen, so lively and quick,
knew what was in store, it'd make them violently sick.
More rapid than eagles, more policemen they came,
As they whistled and shouted, calling the madman's name.
"Come on out William, we've got your surrounded!
Bring the family out safely, slowly, and unbounded!
We'll give you one warning, but that's all you're given,
We've been on your tail, since you escaped from that prison!"
The madman stayed silent, trying to plan his escape,
but he knew it was hopeless, for death was his fate.
So up to the top floor, he ran up the stairs,
but through the window a sniper, kept him in his crosshairs.
And then in a twinkling, the madman heard on the roof,
the policemen were approaching, each climbing up with an "oomph."
As he drew in his head and was turning around,
A smoke bomb was thrown, hitting the ground.
He was dressed all in kevlar, from his head to his feet,
But due to no gas mask, this had him beat.
The bundle of weapons, he kept in a sack,
The madman dumped open, preparing to attack.
His eyes starting to water, his plan was quite terse,
He would not be taken, unless by force or by hearse.
The madman's small mouth, flashed a quick grin,
For it was time for the bloodbath, the fun to begin.
He thought of his demons, everyone calling him a creep,
He wouldn't stop firing, 'till they were all six feet deep.
He took aim out the window, behind the safety of a wall,
Firing round after round, the police began to fall.
His aim was quite true, but his time was running out,
He was gravely outnumbered, for that there was no doubt.
A blink of his eye, and a twist of his head,
He felt the pain of a bullet, mark him for dead.
He spoke not a word, and kept right to the task
Pausing just a second, for a swig of his flask.
And laying his finger, by the trigger of the gun,
He thought to him self, "now this is some fun!"
He sprang out the front door, with both guns blazing,
The police still alive, found the sight quite amazing.
He screamed one last phrase, before he collapsed in a daze,
"Merry Christmas to all, and Happy Horrordays!"

You're Welcome,
Dave

My Top 30 Pop Culture Moments of 2010: Part 3 (#10-#01)

2010 was a fairly good year for popular culture. I finally learned the secrets of LOST, got confused during Inception, complained a lot about remakes and 3D conversions, went all meta with Community, and finally decided I love Kanye West. These are just a small sampling of the things I loved about this year. What follows are my list of the 30 best pop culture moments in 2010. These are not a list of my favorite shows/movies/albums. They are simply my favorite snapshots that occurred in the world of entertainment and are the things I will always remember most. For those unlucky enough to have missed Part 1 and Part 2, please go enjoy those first. Lastly, major spoilers will occur in this list (mainly for Harry Potter, Toy Story 3, Red Dead Redemption, Piranha 3D, and LOST).

10) Blackface debate
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia seemed to always fly under the radar as it tended to be too hit or miss for it to be considered one of my favorite shows. Luckily that all changed this year when they had what is probably their best season in about 3 years. The best of which was the episode "Dee Reynolds: Shaping America's Youth." I would typically choose the parts making fun of juggalos as my favorite but nothing can top the epic debate that Mac, Frank, and Dennis have about blackface. I can't remember that last time I've laughed out loud so many times during a small scene. Having them each come at the topic from different angles (offensive, non-offensive, "it's all in the lips") was brilliant. While the words they were saying hading me laughing uncontrollably, it was the fact that all three were so passionate about their opinions that really made the scene work. I highly doubt this scene will ever be topped during the rest of this show's run. It's hard to think of something funnier than Mac asking "In the Lord of the Rings movies, Ian McKellen plays a wizard. Do you think he goes home at night and shoots lasers into his boyfriend’s asshole?”

09) Toys Get Trashed
Pixar has been on a roll for a long time. I've enjoyed every movie they have made and I was eagerly anticipating Toy Story 3. After Wall-E and Up, I was expecting another masterpiece from the best studio currently making movies. However, after the credits rolled on Toy Story 3, I couldn't help but feel let down. Something about the movie just didn't click for me and I wound up feeling the movie didn't prove it's need to exist. Having said that, I was absolutely blown away by the scene near the end of the movie as the toys are being led on the conveyor belt towards the fiery pit ready to destroy them. What amazed me the most was the instead of playing it for laughs or quick edited action before having the toys rescued to safety, the writers decided to maintain a very serious tone throughout the whole scene. We see each toy's expression go from fear to acceptance as they all join hands and decide that if they have to go out, at least they are going out together. I actually sat in my seat, fighting back tears, wondering what my reaction would be if this was the actual ending of the movie. I sort of knew they couldn't all die but I wouldn't put it past Pixar to have at least one of the toys fall into the pit. Thankfully in the end, this is still a kid's movie and so at the very last minute, the toys are rescued by the little alien guys (using a giant claw of course). I've never wanted to stand up and cheer more during a movie. I may not love Toy Story 3 like I love a lot of the other Pixar movies, but it was still a great experience.

08) Ben Linus and John Locke, Together Again!
For those reading this who know me, it comes as no surprise to see this so high on the list. I've been loving LOST for a few years now (I was a late bloomer to the show but when I started watching between the 3rd and 4th seasons, I became quickly obsessed) and there was nothing that I anticipated more in 2010 than the series finale. While Desmond had long been my favorite (as evident by the name of this blog), I also had a real soft spot for any scene featuring both Ben and Locke bouncing off each other. To me, they were the shows most interesting dynamic. It was sort of sad knowing that every scene they shared together after "The Life and Times of Jeremy Bentham" from season 5 wasn't truly "Ben" and "Locke" sharing a scene, but always a different spin on their characters (whether in the sideways world or The Man In Black's embodiment of John Locke). So it was with great relief that they took the time to have one last epic Ben/Locke scene before it was all said and done. I may not have enjoyed the final reveal that the sideways world was some holding pen after death, but as the months have passed since the finale, I've become more comfortable with what the overall message of LOST was: We may go through a lot in life, and we won't always know the answers to the biggest mysteries, but all that matters in the end are the people we kept close throughout it all.

07) The Last Act of Arcade Fire's The Suburbs
I actually wasn't a fan of Arcade Fire before listening to their latest album The Suburbs. I know to most music fans that's a sin but I just never made the attempt to get into their two previous albums (Funeral and Neon Bible). But once I started listening to The Suburbs, I became an instant fan. It's easily the best album of the year and I would even go so far as to place it in my top ten of all time. But what really places it so high on the list is the closing section of the album, specifically the last four songs: We Used To Wait, Sprawl I (Flatland), Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains), and The Suburbs (Continued). This is as close to a perfect ending I have ever heard in an album. I doubt there is any song I listened to more in 2010 than Sprawl II. No matter what my mood was, it was always a perfect match for this song. On it's own it is a great piece of music, but within the confines of the rest of the album, it's amazing. I sadly still haven't gone back and listened to Funeral or Neon Bible yet because every time I decide to give it a try, I realize I still would just rather listen to The Suburbs instead. Maybe once my love for the album dies down a bit I'll be able to discover the greatness of those two as well.

06) Assemble the Minions!
The minions are the sole reason I am obsessed with the movie Despicable Me. As far as I'm concerned, they were the best new characters in 2010. Everything about them is just awesome, from the way they look, to they way they sound, to the way they are each given their own mini story/personality. I'm glad that they caught on as it seems like we will be seeing more minion nonsense in years to come through mini-movies while we patiently wait for a full length sequel. While there are many scenes that could go here, I had to chose the scene where we are first introduced to these fantastic yellow creatures. Gru yells for the minions to be assembled and we are then taken on a long tracking shot down into their lair. Getting to see the hundreds of minions all interacting with each other and spreading the news to gather is filled with so many wonderful little gags. I already loved these things on first sight, but once I found out they had an aerobics class, my love was then taken to a whole other level. It also helps that one of them is named Dave.

05) Dobby the Hero
A Harry Potter movie made me cry. I'm not sure what caused it but the death of Dobby really pushed certain buttons for me. I am not what you would call a die hard Harry Potter fan (never read a book and I've only seen each movie once, with Deathly Hallows Part 1 being the first in an actual movie theater) and I wasn't even a fan of Dobby the character the first time he showed up earlier in the franchise. But the way they made him so likable and fragile, mixed with his heroic turn and eternal optimism, made for a very emotional death scene. It's comical now, realizing that the death of a CG house elf can make me cry for the first time in almost 2 years (Up was the last time before this). The beautiful burying scene that follows wrapped it all up so perfectly. I still wish that was the last scene of the film and that the "Voldermort has the wand!" capper wasn't needed, but I understand it's a kid's movie so it needed to end on a big cliffhanger to get people ready for the finale next year. The Deathly Hallows Part 1 was an excellent movie (Top 5 of the year for me) and I'm really glad that it contained a scene so powerful that it made it this high on my list. It's refreshing to realize the seventh movie in a franchise can so easily be considered it's best.

04) Defying Gravity
Everything about Inception worked for me. I fell in love with right at the opening scene and consider it the best science fiction movie since Children of Men. Looking back, I do have a few small complaints about the amount of expository dialog early on in the film, but I truly believe that it was necessary due to the complexity of the premise. However, out of all the mind-bending sequences in this movie, nothing tops the zero gravity fight scene that Joseph Gordon-Levitt's character Arthur has in the hallway of the hotel. It's one of the coolest achievements I've seen in years and both times I saw the movie in a theater I was left with a big smile on my face the entire sequence. I still may not be able to tell you what I think the whole movie means (though I lean towards 3/4 of the movie being Cobb's dream as his team tries to force him to get over his feelings regarding his wife's death), but it doesn't really matter because the experience of watching the movie is so perfect. I believe (and hope) that Inception will be a genre classic for years to come.

03) Waking Up To a War Zone...of Paint

Now that LOST is over, Community is the greatest show on TV. It's is the perfect mix of character based plot and reference driven jokes. Nothing sums that beautiful mix up better than last years epic paintball episode "Modern Warfare." What starts as a normal episode of Study Room bickering ends with Joel McHale's Jeff Winger going to his car to take a nap as the school wide paintball tournament is about to begin. Once the opening credits roll however and we cut to Jeff waking up in his car, the episode morphs into a spot-on homage to action/post-apocalyptic survival films. The way they turn Greendale Community College into a paint splattered and deserted wasteland is stunning. I love the beginning scenes of Jeff slowly meeting up with his group as he tries to comprehend just what the hell is going on. The best of which is when Abed takes Jeff to the safe room where Troy is waiting for them (decked out in warrior gear of shoulder pads no less). As Troy sees Jeff and realizes he is still in the game, the look on his face is priceless, which is then followed by the spot on line reading from Donald Glover as he exclaims "Jeff Winger! You son of a bitch!" and gives him a big welcome back hug. It's a cliche line we've seen a hundred times in movies but the way Community plays it so straight, I couldn't help but just sit back and smile as I knew I was in good hands for the remainder of the episode. LOST's The Constant will always be the epitome of an hour long episode of TV. Community's "Modern Warfare" is now the same for the half hour format.

02) John Marston's Last Stand
Red Dead Redemption is the best video game I have ever played. The summer of 2010 will always be remembered as the summer where I spent countless hours roaming around the expansive map of Red Dead Redemption hunting wild animals, playing long games of poker, and looting dead bodies for some spare cash. Red Dead Redemption had a lot of great things going for it. Everything was perfect, from the visuals, to the missions, and everything in between. But what really made it such a great game to play was the main character, Mr. John Marston. It was the best fully formed character I had ever seen in a video game. I really dislike the trend of making main characters in video games silent nobodies as a way to make you feel like it could be you or whoever you want to imagine the character as. Luckily, Red Dead Redemption's makers got it right and knew that for a story to really matter, you first had to care about the main character. It's fun riding along in the game on horseback and killing random people, but in order for it to transcend the simple sandbox format and become a true masterpiece, we had to care about every mission we completed because it felt like we were one step closer to getting John Marston where he needed to be, which was with his family. This is what made the very end of Red Dead Redemption so satisfying. Most games would end with the hero making it back to his family (...and roll credits!). But Rockstar made an amazing decision to keep the game going, allowing you to see John Marston attempt to live a boring, normal life with the family he thought he wouldn't get to be with again. Of course, one's past is never truly behind them and sure enough, just when I thought the game would end on a quiet note of his family coming together as a unit again, we are given the final cut scene of John Marston's last stand. I saw John Marston die roughly 200 times during the course of the summer, but seeing it done in a way that was actually part of the story and so final (until the Undead Nightmare reboot) was such a powerful scene, especially for a video game. The fact they added a playable epilogue of his son Jack getting revenge simply made it that much more amazing. If you own a 360 or PS3 and didn't play Red Dead Redemption this year, you made a mistake.

01) Lake Massacre
Piranha 3D was the best time I ever had in a movie theater. I knew going in I was going to enjoy the movie, but I had no idea how amazing it would actually end up being. I guess before continuing any further I should note that that I love over-the-top gore in horror movies that don't take themselves too seriously and Piranha 3D is the best example of that I have ever seen. Sure the movie isn't the most well made, or the best written, or the best acted, and sometimes the 3D conversion made things look a bit murky, but I'll be damned if during the last half of the movie, I didn't care about any of those things. I'm not trying to say the movie is so bad it's good, like Troll 2 or The Manitou. It's also not in the lame group of films that try so hard to be "kitschy bad" that they end up sucking all the fun out of the movie because it comes across as too forced. Piranha 3D is simply an insanely fun horror movie made by people who love insanely fun horror movies. That's why I consider the whole lake massacre section of Piranha 3D (pretty much the second half of the film) to be my favorite pop culture moment of 2010. Once the piranhas are let loose, the movie becomes scene after glorious scene of gory kills. Making everything better is the fact that most of the victims are annoying "Spring Breakers" who are not sympathetic due to their overall douchy-ness (though that may just be my bias against those types of assholes talking). Bodies are destroyed in so many different ways that it never gets repetitive. Every time I think the movie just did something that could never be topped, they top it in the very next scene. I can't remember the last time I've seen this much carnage on screen. I'm really curious to see how this all translates when viewed at home in 2D instead of the large 3D screen in the theater. No matter how less epic it feels the second time around, I'll still always have the memory of seeing it for the first time, and loving every second of it.

You're Welcome,
Dave

My Top 30 Pop Culture Moments of 2010: Part 2 (#20-#11)

2010 was a fairly good year for popular culture. I finally learned the secrets of LOST, got confused during Inception, complained a lot about remakes and 3D conversions, went all meta with Community, and finally decided I love Kanye West. These are just a small sampling of the things I loved about this year. What follows are my list of the 30 best pop culture moments in 2010. These are not a list of my favorite shows/movies/albums. They are simply my favorite snapshots that occurred in the world of entertainment and are the things I will always remember most. This is Part 2 of my countdown. For those unlucky enough to have missed Part 1, please go enjoy that first. Expect Part 3 soon, which will countdown my top 10 moments of the year. Lastly, spoilers will occur in this list.

20) The Social Network Opens With a Bang

I went into The Social Network a bit pessimistic. The hype just seemed way too loud for a movie about Facebook. But once that opening scene at the bar finished, I knew I was in good hands for the remainder of the movie and that it would end up as one of my top 5 movies of the year. The layered dialog, jumping back and forth between certain topics was a very inspiring way to open up the movie. I've heard complaints that the dialog was too stylized and not realistic but I find that to be a very weak argument. I love dialog that zips along at an insane pace, going all the way back to the screwball comedies of the 1930s. It may not be how real people talk, but for a movie, it makes for an extremely entertaining scene. It's a little unfortunate the The Social Network's best scene is its first scene, but everything that comes after it is pretty damn close.

19) Patrick Tillman Expresses His Feelings To The Government

I loved The Tillman Story. It was one of the best Documentaries I saw all year and really opened my eyes to how much of a bad situation Tillman's death really was. The movie takes lots of dark turns as you begin to see the cover-up that came after his death and the pain and frustration it caused his family and close friends. So after 90 minutes of fairly dark material, we see a memo that Pat Tillman's father Patrick sent the government, showcasing every lie and misstep that they took in the investigation into his son's death. It's a very elaborate and well written letter, but the closing is what makes this #19 on my list. After being very straight forward and calm in the whole letter, Mr. Tillman ends with "In sum: Fuck you...and yours." It was such a cathartic scene that elicited a much needed laugh throughout the theater.

18) MacGruber's Fatal Mistake

One of the biggest movie related mistakes I made in 2010 was not seeing MacGruber in the theater. What I thought would be a lame SNL movie turned out to be one of the funniest, darkest, and absurd comedies that I had seen in a long time. It was actually hard to pick just one scene from this movie but I think the van explosion wins because it made me laugh the most. Sure it was telegraphed from a mile away, but they spent so much time on showing MacGruber build up his team of experts (all played by WWE wrestlers) only to have them die in one quick explosion that was of course MacGruber's fault. Seeing MacGruber search through the wreckage was priceless. If you haven't given this movie a shot, you need to fix that. Honorable mention goes to the two sex scenes and the MacGruber begging scene ("I will suck your dick...").

17) Tracy Jordan on Cash Cab

30 Rock really bounced back this year after a fairly lame season. I'm not sure what happened but this season has featured some of the funniest scenes that the show has ever had. Out of all of these, nothing tops the scene of Tracy Jordan ending up on Cash Cab while trying to get to the hospital for his child's birth. Tracy Morgan is amazing at random one liners and this scene is the epitome of that. Of course you expect him to do poorly but he ends up getting question after question right. The real humor comes from his reasoning behind knowing every answer. The best example is after he gets a question about Abu Dhabi right, he dryly explains "I knew that because if I go back there again, I'll be executed." 30 Rock may go a little too heavy on the one-note absurdity of its characters sometimes, but in this instance, it made for amazing television.

16) Nicki Minaj is a Monster

I was first exposed to Nicki Minaj at the MTV VMA awards this summer when she performed with Will.I.Am (who was in blackface). My initial reaction was "Oh OK, she is terrible" and I never thought about her again. That is until the reviews for Kanye West's new album ("My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy") started rolling in. I was skeptical of the whole album because I was sick of Kanye's shtick and I also hate anything that people quickly claim to be the greatest thing to come along in years. But as I started listening to it, I slowly realized this actually was a great CD. Once I got to the song Monster, I was a full convert. Nicki Minaj pops in and delivers my favorite cameo in a song I've ever heard. It's a very chaotic verse and contains some great lines (ex: "OK, first things first I'll eat your brains/Then I'mma start rockin' gold teeth and fangs."). I now consider Kanye's CD the second best of the year. As far as my feelings on Minaj? I love her spot on Monster but I still haven't been able to make it through her debut album. It just seems too generic and is missing the strangeness that made Monster so appealing.

15) Kurt's Turn

I quit watching Glee this year after I realized I was able to watch full episodes in about 15 minutes thanks to all the fast forwarding I was doing during bad and/or boring parts. But when I did watch it, my favorite character was Kurt. He always had the best story lines (especially anything with his Dad, played shockingly well by Mike O'Malley). Of all the songs he sang (including the fantastic Glee version of Baby, It's Cold Outside), my absolute favorite was Rose's Turn. It was a song I had never heard before but it was so epically done that when it was over, I felt like that should have been the series finale of Glee because it will never be topped. Sure enough, it won't be.

14) Katy Perry Yearns For Some Penis

Katy Perry released a new album this year to much fanfare. The album has already spawned countless hits and has made her a bona fide music star. When she isn't featured in an about music, she's in the news for having large boobs (journalism!). But really, the only important thing about her this year (aside from the boob stuff) that she made a song called "Peacock" about wanting to see a guy's penis. I've already reviewed the song in depth so I'll just say that I don't think there was a song this year that made me laugh/sad quite as much as Peacock did.

13) Louie C.K.'s Awkward Date

Louie C.K. created the greatest new show of 2010. It's amazing how much creative freedom he was given. Luckily for FX, it paid off because they were allowed to air one of the smartest and funniest shows on TV. I fell in love with this episode right away so I decided to pick a scene from the first episode that sums up everything that's great about this show. The extended scene is of Louie C.K. going on a really bad first date with a woman. Everything that goes wrong is insanely absurd but hits all the right notes for me. While the whole thing is flat out hysterical, it really is the ending that made me fall in love. Louie and the woman are sitting silently on a bench as they both realize this is clearly the worst social experience of their lives. Then out of nowhere, a helicopter appears and a ladder drops down. The woman then runs to the helicopter, grabs on to the ladder, and is safely removed from this terrible situation. That's how you end a bad date.

12) Scott Pilgrim vs. Vegan Superman

I love Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. I loved the graphic novels leading up to the movie, I loved both Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz by director Edgar Wright, and I loved almost everything Michael Cera had done up to that point. So I wasn't surprised by how much I loved this movie. Getting the chance to see this movie in Boston with Edgar Wright in attendance for a Q&A (along with a Flash Gordon screening) was an amazing experience this year (up there with meeting John Carpenter and George A. Romero). Out of all the amazing scenes in this movie, nothing was as cool to me as his fight scene with Evil Ex #3, played by Brandon Routh. From the great opening scene of him keeping Scott floating in the air to the epic ending with the Vegan Police (and their amazing high five), everything about this fight worked. This was one of only two movies I saw twice in the theaters this year (the other being Inception) and the scene held up perfectly the second time around. I could listen to Brandon Routh try to explain his cleaning lady comment for hours. Too bad he got headbutted and turned into a pile of coins.

11) Hit-Girl Fights in the Dark

Kick-Ass was another movie that I knew I was going to love before I saw one frame. Unlike Scott Pilgrim though, I hadn't read the source material, didn't know anything else the director did, and wasn't familiar with most of the cast (other than Nicolas Cage and Christopher Mintz-Plasse). While the movie didn't quite hold up on a second viewing at home, I still think it's one of the best movies of the year. While I was a bit underwhelmed the second time around by any scene that didn't feature fighting, every single time the action picked up I was still in love. Hit-Girl is the best live action character seen on film this year (I'll explain the best animated ones in my top 10). While every fight scene she has is perfect, I have to give the edge to the scene of her attempting to rescue her Dad and Kick-Ass from the mobsters about to kill them. After being shot and left for dead (though we all knew that wasn't the case), she comes storming in (after killing the lights) and begins racking up kills left and right. Then the strobe light gun gets turned on (or as her father, played by Nic Cage, yells from his chair, "Now switch...to KRYPTONIIIITE!!!" Side comment: that is also my favorite line reading from any movie this year). With that one scene, a new iconic character was born on film. It just so happens that character is a 13 year old violent vigilante who curses like a sailor.

You're Welcome,

Dave

My Top 30 Pop Culture Moments of 2010: Part 1 (#30-#21)

2010 was a fairly good year for popular culture. I finally learned the secrets of LOST, got confused during Inception, complained a lot about remakes and 3D conversions, went all meta with Community, and finally decided I love Kanye West. These are just a small sampling of the things I loved about this year. What follows are my list of the 30 best pop culture moments in 2010. These are not a list of my favorite shows/movies/albums. They are simply my favorite snapshots that occurred in the world of entertainment and are the things I will always remember most. I'm breaking it down into 3 parts so you can expect Part 2 later this week.

30) Giggy on Watch What Happens Live on Halloween night
Giggy is a dog owned by one of the housewives from Bravo's Real Housewives series. Also on Bravo is a show called "Watch What Happens Live" hosted by Andy Cohen. On Halloween night this year, they decided to bring Giggy out in several costumes. It was amazing.

29) 2010 Emmys or Golden Globes?
Christina Hendricks usually makes headlines with every fashion runway she walks down. However, nothing will ever top the 2010 Emmys when she was being interviewed by Ryan Seacrest. In the middle of the interview, they decided to show off the Mad Men doll of her character and so of course the camera man zoomed into Seacrest's hand holding the doll. The angle just happened to be set-up so right behind the doll was what can only be described as a strategically placed zoom into a mountain of cleavage. It was my favorite "Am I really seeing this on TV" moment of the year that left me both shaking my head in shame but laughing hysterically at the same time. You could almost hear the high fiving that was going on in the directors booth at that moment. I sadly could no longer find the video on youtube but here is another interview that night to give you the idea.

28) Lucifer destroys the Gods

Supernatural has been one of my favorite shows for a few years now. Of all the episodes to choose from, I had to pick a moment from last season's amazing "Hammer of the Gods." In it, a bunch of pagan Gods meet to decide what to do about the pending Apocalypse (hear me out if you are not a fan). It's not all wings and halos though as they are all in human forms. The episode reaches a climax when Lucifer himself (Played by LOST's Mark Pellegrino) shows up and starts to lay waste to these collection of Gods. It was a surprising twist to see Gods actually get killed and it made it so much better due to the lovely amount of gore on screen.

27) Intermission Monologue

In March, I was lucky enough to go see A Behanding in Spokane, a pitch black comedy on Broadway featuring Christopher Walken and Sam Rockwell. The play was pretty short and cut into two 45 min. halves so instead of having a real intermission, they had Sam Rockwell come out halfway and give a 10 minute monologue that was an amazing stream of conscious rambling that touched on everything from trained monkeys to his sympathy with school shooters (the gun men, not the victims). While the play itself had me laughing out loud for most of the short running time, nothing was quite as memorable as this random scene (which had pretty much nothing to do with the full story, other than to flesh out his small part as the worker at the hotel Walken is staying at).

26) Tossing Some Stones
The Pacific was one of the best war stories I've ever seen unfold in either film or TV. It had a wonderful mix of intense action scenes and quiet, character-building moments of the men away from the battlefield. One thing that I think the miniseries did best was to showcase the true terror that war really is. This was best summed up in an episode in the latter half of the series when the men are taking in the carnage that they are walking into post-battle. There are tons of bodies strewn about (from both sides) and as they sit in the midst of this hell and begin to talk about the meaning and importance of what they are doing, you see that right next to them is the corpse of a Japanese soldier who had the top half of this head blown clean off. Suddenly, one of the American soldiers begins throwing small pebbles into the man's hallowed out head. Due to an apparent rain storm that occurred after this soldier's death, each rock causes a soft little "blip" as it splashes the water inside his head. It's an extremely nauseating scene to get through but does a fantastic job of showing how being surrounded by the horribleness of war can make people desensitized to certain actions that would otherwise be considered absolutely inhumane and grotesque.

25) Stomach Ache
Boardwalk Empire was one of the best new shows on TV this year. It took a while however for me to officially get on board and consider myself a big fan. That all changed when one of the earlier episodes climaxed with Michael Shannon's very serious  Prohibition agent questioning a fatally wounded obese man about a recent homicide involving bootleggers. Seeing that the man is close to death, he gets him to the nearest doctor he can find, which turns out to be a dentist. He makes the dentist shoot the victim with drugs to make him lucid for a few more minutes so he can get some names out of him. The man turns out to be a hard person to question due to his attitude, so Shannon's character pulls the greatest trick I've ever seen a policeman pull to get someone to talk, and jams his entire hand into the mans gaping gunshot wound in his stomach. It was a very painful scene to watch, but also the one that solidified Boardwalk Empire as a show to keep an eye on.

24) Welcome to Atlanta
The Walking Dead was a mixed bag for me. I was a fan of the comic for the past couple years but would easily admit that dialog was not the comic's strong suit. I had high hopes that the series would correct this seeing as how it was being run by Frank Darabont. Turns out the show suffered from the same problem as the comic book. There were many times where I was left rolling my eyes or slapping my forehead in disbelief (sometimes both) at the words being spoken on screen. This is perfectly summed up in the awful opening bit of the 4th episode that featured the two sisters fishing on a boat while talking about their father. Luckily, for every bad line of dialog, there was usually a cool scene somewhere else in the episode to keep me interested in watching. My favorite part of the show's first season comes from the pilot episode. Rick Grimes finally makes it to Atlanta, which he had hoped would be a safety zone where he would possibly find his wife and son. What Rick actually walks into however (on horseback no less, thus making the scene extra epic) is a giant wasteland that has become overrun with zombies. The shock of how many he encounters, along with the quick devouring of his horse by said zombies, made for a very memorable scene. Sadly it showed a certain coolness the show wasn't able to reach again until the ending of the second to last episode when the crew made it to the CDC.

23) Natalie Portman's Morning Surprise
I was a big fan of Black Swan but going in, I didn't realize how dark the movie actually was. I should have known considering it was coming from Darren Aronofsky. The movie features lots of squirm-inducing scenes of body horror as Natalie Portman's body begins to break down (or does it?). However, the most uncomfortable to watch (and therefore my favorite) is when her character wakes up and decides to take her dance instructor's advice to become more like the black swan and delve into some self-pleasuring. What starts as an awkward attempt at pleasure quickly delves into an animalistic action, showcasing a part of her character that had previously been locked up inside her. However, she suddenly glances over near her bedroom door only to find her mother asleep in a chair in her room. Just one of the many powerful scenes in this fantastic movie.

22) The Miley Cyrus Show is Pretty Cool
SNL has been more miss than hit lately but every once in a while they do something perfect. The most recent example of this was newcomer Vanessa Bayer doing a sublime impersonation of Miley Cyrus hosting her own talk show. The skit goes for the absurd instead of the easy path but nails everything right on the head. I guess the only thing left is say is that "it's pretty cool!"

21) Twisted Vampire Sex
True Blood is a show that I dislike and love at the same time. They have a bad habit of killing off the most interesting characters, yet letting the absolute worst on TV (Tara!) live on and on. But the one thing I can't complain about on this show is the level of gore they are allowed to show. My favorite scene of the entire show so far (and something I doubt they can top) was from the end of an episode near the beginning of the season. Bill Compton and the vampire who created him (Lorena) are having one of their epic fight scenes. This of course ends with them having violent vampire sex. By violent I mean that they start off having sex in the usual missionary position and instead of the cliche scene of the man angrily turning the woman over, he instead simply grabs her head and spins it around, slowly breaking all the bones in her neck, while furiously pumping away at her body. The head (still alive because she is a vampire), then begins professing her love for the man who is currently doing this to her. That's how you end an episode! As you can see from this list (#26, #25, #21), it was a banner year for gore on HBO.

You're Welcome,
Dave

2011 Golden Globe Nominations - Film (by Dave Machado)

Welcome to Part 2 of my amazing coverage of the 2011 Golden Globe nominations. Today I'll be taking a look at the film nominees and giving my take on who should win (but mostly complaining about who didn't get nominated). For the poor souls who missed out on my TV coverage, I direct you to Part 1.

Best Film (Drama)

• Black Swan
• The Fighter
• Inception
• The King's Speech
• The Social Network

Thoughts: Out of these movies, my favorite is Inception. However, I don't think this is a movie that wins awards (except Score, which we will get to later). I also think The Social Network is out of the running to win, leaving it down to Black Swan, The Fighter, and The King's Speech. Of those three, I feel like The King's Speech is the easiest pick to win. Just for fun, I'm going to go for the long shot and call it for Black Swan though. Body horror for the win! Missing from this category? The American. Also? Piranha 3D.

Best Actress (Drama)

• Halle Berry - Frankie and Alice
• Nicole Kidman - Rabbit Hole
• Jennifer Lawrence - Winter's Bone
• Natalie Portman - Black Swan
• Michelle Williams - Blue Valentine

Thoughts: I would love to see Natalie Portman win this but I think Kidman will walk away with the Golden Globe. Portman will get the Oscar though so it's OK.

Best Actor (Drama)

• Jesse Eisenberg - Social Network
• Colin Firth - The King's Speech
• James Franco - 127 Hours
• Ryan Gosling - Blue Valentine
• Mark Wahlburg - The Fighter

Thoughts: I was torn here between Franco and Firth. I'm going with Firth clearly because he has more buzz going into the awards season but it could go either way. I think Eisenberg's nomination is more of a "welcome to the club" nod and not an actual contender to win. Lastly, Gosling and Wahlburg don't have enough hype for them to squeeze out an upset. Clooney deserved a nod here for The American.

Best Film (Comedy/Musical)

• Alice in Wonderland
• Burlesque
• The Kids Are Alright
• Red
• The Tourist

Thoughts: The Kids Are Alright needs to win this. Anything else is just a giant joke. Were there really no good comedies this year? Also, how is The Kids Are Alright a comedy? Who decides these things? Scott Pilgrim should have replaced Alice in Wonderland, Red, or The Tourist. Then two other movies should replace the other ones.

Best Actress (Comedy/Musical)

• Annette Bening - The Kids Are Alright
• Anne Hathaway - Love and Other Drugs
• Angelina Jolie - The Tourist
• Julianne Moore - The Kids Are Alright
• Emma Stone - Easy A

Thoughts: It's awesome Emma Stone got nominated but she has zero chance at winning. I think it's down to either Bening or Moore. I'll give Moore the edge here. The other possibility is that Hathaway wins due to fans of The Kids Are Alright splitting the votes. Basically, just don't let Angelina Jolie win.

Best Actor (Comedy/Musical)

• Johnny Depp - Alice in Wonderland
• Johnny Depp - The Tourist
• Paul Giamatti - Barney's Version
• Jake Gyllenhaal - Love and Other Drugs
• Kevin Spacey - Casino Jack

Thoughts: I almost don't care who wins this as long as it is not Johnny Depp. I flipped a coin and it landed on it's side so that means Gyllenhaal wins. No offense to Johnny Depp but those two movies look pretty terrible. They basically picked him because he is a big star and they shy away from actual "comedic" performances even though the category says it is for comedy. Who's missing from here? Cher for Burlesque.

Best Supporting Actress

• Amy Adams - The Fighter
• Helena Bonham Carter - The King's Speech
• Mila Kunis - Black Swan
• Melissa Leo - The Figher
• Jacki Weaver - Animal Kingdom

Thoughts: Mila Kunis was great in Black Swan but I don't think she was good enough to win awards. I'm going with Carter on this one. At least they nominated her for The King's Speech and not Alice in Wonderland.

Best Supporting Actor

• Christian Bale - The Fighter
• Michael Douglas - Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
• Andrew Garfield - The Social Network
• Jeremy Renner - The Town
• Geoffrey Rush - The King's Speech

Thoughts: This is a hard one to call between Rush and Bale. Bale is getting some pretty good buzz for this role and even seems more open when doing press and not being his usual quiet (or angry) self. I'm picking Bale simply because I think it would be better to see him win. I'm glad Garfield got a nomination for The Social Network though. I also wouldn't have minded seeing Timberlake get a nod as well. I'd be happy with anyone winning except Douglas. His nomination should have went to either Tom Hardy or Joseph Gordon-Levitt from Inception.

Best Animated Film

• Despicable Me
• How To Train Your Dragon
• The Illusionist
• Tangled
• Toy Story 3

Thoughts: Normally I would call it for any Pixar movie without further comments. However Toy Story 3 didn't effect me as much as Wall-E and Up did the past two years. Save for a fantastic final act, I was a bit let down by Toy Story 3 and found it to be enjoyable but unnecessary. I liked Despicable Me a lot more and thought it had a great original story that featured the creation of the best side characters (Minions) in years. How To Train Your Dragon was also a big surprise and a movie that I respect a lot for how the story unfolded. Having said that, I still think Pixar will walk away with the award. Next year is when the Pixar winning streak is in real jeopardy (Cars 2).

Best Foreign Language Film

• Biutiful
• The Concert
• The Edge
• I Am Love
• In a Better World

Thoughts: I feel a bit unqualified to even speak about this since I know nothing about the nominees. I'm going with Biutiful purely on that fact that it's the newest film from the director of Babel.

Best Director

• Darren Aronofsky - Black Swan
• David Fincher - The Social Network
• Tom Hooper - The King's Speech
• Christopher Nolan - Inception
• David O. Russell - The Fighter

Thoughts: Nolan deserves this award for pulling off such a complex film like Inception. However, despite his amazing job, I don't think he will actually win. It's pretty much a toss up from there as far as I'm concerned. Despite him being my least favorite choice, I'm going to go with my gut and say Hooper wins for The King's Speech.

Best Screenplay

• Simon Beaufoy and Danny Boyle - 127 Hours
• Christopher Nolan - Inception
• Stuart Blumberg and Lisa Cholodenko - The Kids Are Alright
• David Seidler - The King's Speech
• Aaron Sorkin - The Social Network

Thoughts: Sorkin deserves this award simply for the opening scene of The Social Network. Nevermind that every scene after that is filled with continuously amazing dialog that moves at a fantastic pace without ever getting bogged down in unnecessary drama. No one else should even have a chance to win. As much as I loved Inception, I think the script was a bit too expository to win the award. The concept of the story is a masterpiece, but the actual words spoken no screen sometimes are a bit too explanatory (though in the movie's defense, the mechanics of the dreamworld are far too complex to have done it any other way).

Best Original Score

• Alexandre Desplat - The King's Speech
• Danny Elfman - Alice in Wonderland
• A. R. Rahman - 127 Hours
• Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross - The Social Network
• Hans Zimmer - Inception

Thoughts: I am surprised at the lack of a nomination for Tron: Legacy as I have been hearing non-stop praise for Daft Punk's score. Also, I believe Scott Pilgrim vs. The World deserves a nod here as well. But none of that matters because regardless of who else was nominated, nothing would be able to top Hanz Zimmer's amazingly epic score for Inception.

Best Original Song

• "Bound To You" - Burlesque
• "Coming Home" - Country Strong
• "I See The Light" - Tangled
• "There's a Place For Us" - Chronincles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
• "You Haven't Seen The Last of Me" - Burlesque

Thoughts: Attention filmmakers, if you want to win Best Original Song from now on, you must have the word "Country" in your movie title. Last year's victory from Country Heart will be followed by this year's win for Gwyneth Paltrow's "Coming Home" from Country Strong. Someone better start making a movie called "Country Love." May I suggest Courtney Love as the singer/actress? Thought I guess you'd have to remove the "o" from Country if you went that route.

You're Welcome,

Dave